argyle_s: (Default)
Title: The Diary of Jane
Author: Argyle_S
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: NC-17
Length: About 27,000 Words
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance.
Warnings: Explicit sex. Pregnant Sex. BDSM. Branding. Mentions of sexual assault.
Summary: Three weeks after the incident with Dennis, Maura has to fly to D.C. for the weekend to consult on a case, but she leaves something behind for Jane. Her journal, which contains a series of letters she's written to Jane over the months since the two settled their argument over Doyle's shooting. Letters she's been too afraid to show Jane.


I settled back into my seat, waiting impatiently for the plane to take off. I'd flow often enough in my life that I wasn't really uncomfortable on planes, as long as I could get first class seats, but I was always impatient. Until recently, when I got on a plane, it was always with a sense of excitement about whatever waited for me on the other end. Lately, I'd only felt that excitement on the return flight. Leaving Boston, leaving Jane, even if it was only for a day or a weekend, was getting harder to do every time I had to do it.

But today, I was more impatient than I'd ever been, because I had so much to look forward to on the other end.

I looked down at my cell phone, which still displayed the text I'd received from Jane that morning.

My Beloved Maura,

Yes, forever and always.

With all my love,

It was so simple. Sixty characters forming twelve words. But it said so much, promised so much.

When I'd received it, I'd almost walked out of the meeting with the FBI pathologists I'd been there to consult with and taken the next flight to Boston. It had taken all my will power to calm down and finish the consult. I'd done it, connecting the bodies the FBI had found in South Florida with a case I'd worked for the San Diego ME's office before I took a position in Massachusetts.

Then I'd canceled all the appointments I'd made with clothiers and boutiques in D.C. and gotten my flight rescheduled for that afternoon, because I couldn't stay away. Not knowing Jane loved me and wanted me. When that text arrived, there was suddenly nothing in the world more important than getting home to my family.

I was so enthralled by the sight of the words on my phone's screen that I almost missed the announcement telling me to turn off my electronics. I switched the phone off, reluctantly. It wasn't logical, I knew, but seeing the words made me feel closer to Jane. They made me feel loved and wanted. They made me happy.

I tucked the phone into my purse and sat it in the seat beside me. The first class cabin has barely half full, and I'd been lucky enough not to have anyone sitting next to me, or in the seat behind me, which meant that as soon as we were in the air, I'd be able to lean back and get some rest. In less than two hours, I'd be home, safely tucked into Jane's arms.

I smiled, wishing Jane were with me now. We'd be isolated enough. A blanket over our laps would be perfect. I could part my legs, and Jane could slip a hand up my skirt. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip as I gently squeezed my thighs together.

No, if Jane and I were going to join the mile high club, we were going to do it right. A charter jet with a real bed. I'd be more than willing to trade the thrill from possibly getting caught for the ability to take my time having my way with Jane.

I heard the engines begin to spin up and smiled just a little wider. Two hours. Just two more hours, and I'd be with Jane. My Jane.


I was stretched out on the couch with my back propped up against the arm. Tony was curled up, sleeping on my chest as I watched a muted game on the plasma. The only sounds in the room were the soft clicking of Ma's knitting needles, Jo's soft doggie snores, and the clacking of Bass's scaled feet as he roamed through the house, looking for Maura.

“Are you going to do anything special for Maura when she gets home,” Ma whispered, trying to keep her voice down to avoid waking the baby.

I turned my head, smiling at her. “Depends on whether I can find a baby sitter.”

Ma smiled, laughing a little. “I think that could be arranged.”

I turned back to Tony, reaching up and rubbing his back gently, struck by the thought that this was exactly what Maura had meant when she'd talked about the night Hope and Cailin had come over for dinner. The simple domesticity of our lives. I was a woman, laying on the couch, holding my son and talking to my mother about making plans for when my girlfriend got home from her business trip.

It was so ordinary, so simple, and it made me so ridiculously happy I could barely stand it.

“I thought I'd take her to Gaslight. It's this French place over on Harrison Street. They do this mushroom crusted yellowfin tuna that she likes.”

“That sounds lovely.”

I smiled. “It's tasty, I'll give it that. A little on the pricy side, but for a special occasion, it's not too bad.”

I heard Ma sigh and looked over at her again. “What?”

“You're practically glowing, sweetheart,” Ma said. “I'm just remembering what it was like being in love for the first time.”

“Honest, Ma, I'm kinda hoping this is more of an 'only time'.”

“I know.” Ma leaned forward, reaching out and rubbing Jane's shoulder. “If anyone can make it last, it's you two. You've always been so good for each other.”

“I hope you're right, Ma, I...”

I turned around at the sound of a key sliding into the front door. I reached up, gripping Tony tightly so I could sit up, and I felt a little touch of fear. My gun was out of reach, locked in the gun safe Maura had installed in the master bedroom during the baby proofing.

I told myself it was stupid. A thief wouldn't use a key. It was just my cop brain in overdrive, and when the door opened, for once in my life, I was glad my instincts were wrong.


I felt like I was floating as I walked up to the front door. I'd spent the entire cab ride home staring at the text from Jane and day dreaming about what it would be like to walk through that door. I imagined Jane sweeping me up into her arms, planting a wild, passionate kiss on my lips and following it up with long, loud declarations of undying love.

In my more lucid moments, I chided myself. I'd been reading too many romance novels. A dirty little secret my iPad made so much easier to hide. I'd tried to tell myself to keep my expectations low, reasonable, but then I'd look down at the text and read it again, and the words would make my heart soar and my mind race.

Jane loved me. Jane wanted me.

I'd dreamed of it for months, and if I was honest with myself, I'd wanted it for a lot longer. Now it was happening.

I took my keys out of my purse and flipped through them, finding the house key and sliding it into the lock. I opened the door and stepped inside, pulling my suitcase along with me, and setting it out of the way so I could turn around and lock the door behind me. Once that was done, I turned towards the living room, and my eyes immediately landed on Jane, sitting on the couch, holding Tony against her chest, wearing a bright, beautiful smile on her face.

For one glorious second, my heart leaped into my throat, and it was everything I'd imagined. Then I spotted Angela on the easy chair next to the couch, and all thoughts of a sweeping, romantic reunion vanished.

“Hey,” Jane said, her voice bright. “I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow.”

I forced myself to smile as I walked around the small partition that separated the entryway from the rest of the living room. “I finished with the consult today, and I decided that the shopping I had planned for tomorrow could wait. It's not like I don't have enough clothes.”

Jane laughed as she stood up and turned to face Angela. “Ma, please.”

Angela set aside her knitting and took Tony from Jane with a smile. “Welcome home,” she said.

“Thank you,” I replied as I watched Jane turn around and start walking towards me. I was slightly confused by the way she approached me, wondering what she was doing and wishing she wouldn't get so close with Angela there. I wanted to touch her so badly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep my hands to myself until we were alone. I'd rushed back from D.C. just to be with Jane, had dreamed of this very moment for months. My self restraint wasn't at its best.

But Jane didn't stop. She stepped right up to me, slipped her hands around my waist and pulled me close. I opened my mouth to say something, I wasn't sure what, and I never found out, because...

Because Jane was kissing me.

Jane was kissing me.

The room around us vanished, taking Angela and Tony and everything else with it, leaving just Jane and I, and the feeling of Jane's body pressed against me, and Jane's arms around me and Jane's lips on mine, and Jane's tongue sliding into my mouth.

It was heaven. It was pure and simple bliss. It was everything I'd ever imagined it would be.

Jane was kissing me.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, not sure if I'd ever be able to let her go. I'd wanted this for so long I couldn't remember what it was like to look at Jane and not want to kiss her like this.

It ended too soon, but that was inevitable, because forever would hardly be long enough, but when it was over, I found myself smiling up at Jane, staring into deep, chocolate colored eyes, and my heart just melted.

“Hey, you,” Jane said.

“Hey,” I whispered.

Then Jane leaned down and kissed me again. I moaned and lifted my leg up, wrapping it around one of Jane's muscled thighs.

A cough came from somewhere, and I whimpered as Jane broke off the kiss.

“What, Ma?” Jane said in an annoyed tone as she turned her head to look over her shoulder.

“I just wanted you to keep it PG rated while me and little Tony were in the room.”

“Oh,” I said, embarrassment rushing over me. I leaned forward, burying my face against Jane's chest as I blushed furiously. It took me another few seconds to remember to put my foot back down on the floor.

“Jane, sweetie, why don't I take Tony for the night, and let you girls have some private time?”

I closed my eyes, squeezing Jane a little tighter, not wanting to let go.

“Thanks, Ma.”

I listened until I heard the back door open and close, then lifted my head, looking up at Jane. “I'm sorry.”

Jane just gave me a smug grin. “What for? It's my fault for being such an amazing kisser you forgot Ma was in the room.”

I groaned and dropped my head back down against Jane's chest, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Jane just hugged me a little tighter and placed a kiss on top of my head.

We stayed like that for a long time. I didn't want to move out of the warm circle of Jane's arms, or even let go, in case it was all another day dream, about to vanish.

“You okay?” Jane asked.

I looked up at Jane and nodded my head. “Yes,” I whispered. “I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look your mother in the eye again, but I think it was a fair trade.”

Jane laughed. “Come on,” she said, starting to pull away.

I held on, refusing to let go. “No. I'm quite comfortable right where I am.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “I bet you'd be even more comfortable snuggled up on the couch.”

I thought about it for a moment, tilting my head as I considered her proposal. “I see your point.” Reluctantly, I let her go.

Jane took my hand and led me over to the couch, where she dropped down and pulled me down on top of her. “See, isn't this better?”

I shifted position slightly so I could kiss Jane, running my tongue along her lips before catching the lower one between my teeth, sucking it gently before letting it go. “Definitely.”

Jane closed her eyes, letting out a long sigh of frustration. “God, you're trying to kill me, aren't you?”

I grinned. “No. I definitely need you alive for what I have planned.”

Jane actually whimpered. A sound which went straight through me, making me shift positions again.

“I've read some of what you've got planned for me,” Jane said. She leaned up, brushing her lips over mine. “They're good plans.”

I smiled. “I'm glad you think so.” I leaned down, kissing her again as I slipped my fingers under the bottom of her t-shirt, running them lightly over her stomach.

She broke the kiss, and when I tried to kiss her again, she caught my head in both her hands, tilting it up until our eyes met.

“I love you,” she said.

I could feel the tears starting to build up in my eyes. Happy tears. She'd never said the words before. I tried to lean forward, but she didn't let me move. Just looked into my eyes.

“I want all of it Maura. Everything you talked about. You, me, a life together, marriage, children.” She leaned forward, resting her forehead against mine. “Just promise me you'll forgive me when I screw up.”

I could see the tears dripping off my face and landing on her cheeks, and I decided none of the romance novels got it right. All the descriptions paled in comparison to how wonderful this moment felt. I looked into her eyes and nodded.

“Yes, always,” I said. “Promise me the same thing.”

She nodded, then she leaned up and kissed me. “We shouldn't do this here,” she said.

“Why not?” I asked. “Your mother said she'd give us some privacy.”

“Yeah, but someone gave my brother a key.”



We scrambled up, off the couch, and I took Jane's hand, stopping her before she could walk away. She turned back, giving me a questioning look.

“I love you, Jane.”

She stepped towards me and kissed me, and it was every bit as good as the first time. Then she bent down and scooped me up, carrying me towards the bedroom in her arms.

“I love you too, Maura.”

The Diary of Jane Chapter List
Chapter 01
Chapter 02
Chapter 03
Chapter 04
Chapter 05
Chapter 06
Chapter 07
Chapter 08
Chapter 09
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15

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