argyle_s: (Default)
Title: The Diary of Jane
Author: Argyle_S
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: NC-17
Length: About 27,000 Words
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance.
Warnings: Explicit sex. Pregnant Sex. BDSM. Branding. Mentions of sexual assault.
Summary: Three weeks after the incident with Dennis, Maura has to fly to D.C. for the weekend to consult on a case, but she leaves something behind for Jane. Her journal, which contains a series of letters she's written to Jane over the months since the two settled their argument over Doyle's shooting. Letters she's been too afraid to show Jane.



A/N: Yes, I'm actually putting Kris from Traffic in here, because I love the twitter exchanges.




Jane

I held Tony in my arms, rocking him gently. I'd finally managed to burp him after he finished his bottle, and I was really hoping I'd be able to get him to take a nap. Fortunately, the Dirty Robber was fairly slow on a Saturday afternoon, and Murray had opened up the back seating area for me, so I had a little bit of privacy. I suspected it had more to do with not wanting the site of a baby to freak out his regulars than him just being nice, but hey, if he didn't want kids in there, he shouldn't have added the grill part of bar and grill.

“Rizzoli.”

I looked up, smiling as I saw the tall, curvy redhead walking towards me. It was easy to see why Frankie had been interested, even if my little brother was a bit clueless. I was feeling a little embarrassed by the whole thing that morning. After all, I'd figured out she was a lesbian because she was the captain of Traffic's softball team, wore the same shoes I did, and spent all her off duty time hanging out with women.

I was the captain of homicide's softball team, wore the same shoes she did, and spent all my off duty time hanging out with one particular woman.

I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to be wondering how I'd ever managed to earn my gold shield for a good long while.

“Hey Kris. How's traffic treating ya?” I asked.

“Same old, same old,” she said as she pulled out a chair and sat down. “I'm trying to decide whether to shoot the next guy who calls me a meter maid, or just beat him to death with my baton.”

I snorted. “Sounds like traffic alright.”

Kris leaned forward, looking at Tony. “Who's the little guy?”

“This is Tony,” I said. I reached down and took one of his hands in mine and waving it at Kris. “Say high to Kris.”

Kris smiled. “Cute fellow, but I didn't much picture you as the baby sitting type.”

I looked up and shrugged. “Long story, but apparently I'm the adopting type.”

Kris' eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Wow. That's big.”

“Tell me about it,” I said. “But it's that, or let social services have the little fellow, and there's no way.”

Kris nodded. “Yeah. I get that. One of the reasons I transferred from patrol. I couldn't take the domestics anymore.”

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” I said.

Kris grinned. “Hey, the hottest detective in BPD asked me on a date. No way I was turning that down.”

I felt my jaw drop. Did she think...? Fuck. Did I ask her out on a date without realizing it? Was it some kind of lesbian thing that I was clueless about? I tried to say something, but I couldn't figure out what. I'd asked her here for advice. I didn't want to start by offending her.

I was still sputtering like an idiot when she burst out laughing. “God, you should see the look on your face. I wish I'd gotten a picture. That was priceless.”

I didn't know whether to sigh in relief or murder her, but in the end, I settled for an annoyed glare.

Kris raised her hands in a defensive posture. “Easy, Rizzoli. I'm just fu...” She stopped, looking down at Tony. “Just messing with you.”

I shook my head, and looked down at Tony. He'd drifted off in my arms. “Sorry,” I said. “Long night. I'm an easy target this morning”

Kris shrugged. “No problem. I should know better than to tease the straight girls by now. Although, if you ever want advice on switching teams...” She trailed off, waggling her eyebrows.

Well, that was one way to break the ice. “Um... Actually...”

Kris looked like Christmas had come early. “No way! Seriously?”

I blushed, ducking down a little, and nodded.

“Oh, you are gonna make so many girls on the force so happy. Of course, you're gonna have to start carrying a baton again, just to beat them off.”

I groaned and hung her head, shaking it. “One girl, and she's not on the force.”

Kris sighed. “Already breaking girls’ hearts. So, who is she?”

I looked up and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to put the pieces together. Really, it shouldn't take a detective.

“No! Oh, no way! Tell me you did not bag Doctor Maura 'I wear tailored Chanel to a crime scene' Isles.”

“Can you keep it down?” I said. “We're not exactly out. Hell, we're not even officially together yet.” Honestly, I was more worried about her waking the baby, but I couldn't admit that. It would spoil my image. Like asking for dating advice from a near stranger wasn't doing that already.

Kris nodded and leaned back. “So, what? You want advice on how to figure out if she's into you or something?”

I shook my head. “No. She flat out told me she was interested. In fact, she was pretty... explicit about it.”

“Oh, you lucky bi... dog. So, what are you doing here with me if you've got all that and a bag of chips waiting at home.”

“She's in D.C. right now, doing a consult for the fibbees. She kind of dropped the bomb on her way out of town. Said to think about it while she was gone, and let her know when she got back.”

“And?”

“I lasted all of about twelve hours before I texted her and damn near asked her to marry me.”

Kris laughed and shook her head. “God, Rizzoli, even as a lesbian, you're an over achiever.”

“What?”

“It's in the rule book. You're not supposed to rent the U-Haul until the second date.”

I blushed and looked down. “Uh... we kind of moved in together three weeks ago.”

I heard muffled laughter and looked up. Kris had covered her face with her hands, and her shoulders were shaking.

I rolled my eyes, but even I had to admit, it was a little funny. I supposed I should just get it all out of the way at once, so we could get to what I really wanted to talk about. “Just to get it out of the way, my Ma has been living in her guest house for two years, we've been sleeping in the same bed a couple of times a month for three years, and we're probably going to both adopt the kid.”

Kris' hands fell into her lap, and her jaw damn near followed. I watched as she tried to form words, but she didn't seem able to make a sound as tears of mirth rolled down her face. It was a good two or three minutes before the redhead managed to speak.

“God, Rizzoli, did you buy a manual on how to be a lesbian stereotype?”

I titled my head so I had a clear line of sight at Kris's boots. “This from a woman in sensible shoes.”

Kris slapped both her hands over her heart in a mock wounded gesture. “Oh, touché.” She picked up a napkin and wiped her face. “I still don't see what you need me for.”

“Um... I've never, you know, with a woman,” I admitted, feeling myself blush again.

Kris scooted back from the table. “Oh no. No. I am not giving you sex advice. First, we are not that close. Second, your girlfriend disassembles bodies for a living. Third, there are books for that sh.. crap.”

I shook my head, wondering why I'd thought this was a good idea. Oh yeah. Maura sex. Snuggling on the couch. Happily ever after. Right. “Not sex,” I whispered. “Trust me, she's got that part figured out. Just, you know, dating. I've never dated a woman before.”

“Sounds to me like you're doing a pretty good job of it.”

I sigh. I was starting to get a little frustrated. “Look, I... I've effed up every relationship I've ever had, but that's never really bugged me before. I always figured if they ran off because I was being me, they weren't worth it to begin with.”

Kris nodded. “Okay. So?”

“So, this is different.”

“Different how?”

“This time I care. I'm in love with her, and I don't want to screw up.”

“Look, I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended that you've mistaken me for a nine hundred year old green midget who speaks in reverse Polish notation, but I'm not some kind of lesbian Yoda. Hell, I haven't had a steady girlfriend since I graduated from the Academy.”

“Yeah, well, aside from a couple of convicted murderers I put away and a few women I went on dates with to get DNA samples, you're the only lesbian I know.”

Kris snorted. “Bullshit.”

I thought about that for a second and shrugged. She was right. There were more than a few cops on the force who were on the team. “Okay, maybe not, but you're the only out lesbian I know.”

“Okay, fair point.” Kris reached up, running her hands through her hair, smoothing it back. “Look, you and Doctor Isles have been friends for a long time, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Going on five years.”

“And she told you what, exactly? That she wants to try dating?”

I shook my head. “She told me she's in love with me, and has been for a while.”

“Well, there you go. Just keep on doing what you've been doing. Except stop dating guys, and make out with her more.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “That's it?” It couldn't be that simple, could it?

Kris shrugged. “The odd candle light dinner probably wouldn't hurt. Send her flowers once in a while. Or better yet, there's this company that cuts fruit into these flower shaped arrangements. That and some chocolate sauce can make for a very good night.”

“Oh.” I felt the heat rising in my cheeks again, and started to get annoyed by how much I was blushing, but I couldn't help it. I had a very vivid mental image of easing chocolate dip and strawberries off of Maura's naked body.

Kris smiled and nodded. “'Oh' is right. Also 'god yes' and 'right there'.”

I laughed. “You're not so bad at this Yoda thing.”

“Thanks. Oh, and stop complaining when she asks you to go somewhere you hate.”

“How did you know-”

“Because you're the butch.”

“I'm not butch.”

Kris raised an eyebrow, and pulled her iPhone off her belt. She held it up. “Do I really need to pull up all the YouTube videos of you breaking furniture over some gang banger's head, or tackling guys twice your size? I think I've got the one where you took down the two hundred pound professional wrestler with a broken nose and dislocated shoulder bookmarked.”

If I hadn't been holding Tony, I would have face palmed. “God. I'm really butch, aren't I?”

Kris shrugged. “Hey, it's working for you. Half the girls on the force would give up their signed photos of Jennifer Beals and their complete set of 'The L Word' DVD's for five minutes in the supply closet with you.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. I mean, I knew I got the occasional look from women, but I hadn't noticed some sort of fan club.

“Hey, focus. You already got the prize. Of course, the other half are going to want to murder you when they find out you bagged Doctor Isles, and I can't say I blame them.”

“Okay, if you keep mentally ogling my girlfriend, I swear to God, I'll tell detective Crowe you've got a crush on him.”

Kris made a face like she'd just been force fed a lemon. “Low blow, Rizzoli.”

“Yeah, well, I'm the jealous type. I nearly broke Riley Cooper in half once, and that was before I even realized I had a thing for Maura.”

“Wait, Cooper's family?” she asked, and I wanted to offer her a napkin to wipe up the drool. Seriously, what the fuck was it with Riley fucking Cooper?

I said. “Not that I know of. She was dating my brother and my partner for a while, and they're both guys. But Maura went all gaga over this tattoo Cooper had, and-”

“You wanted to lift your leg and mark your territory.”

“Okay, that's just gross. Accurate, but completely gross” I was beginning to hate how insightful she was.

Tony made a small complaining noise, and I looked down to see him staring up at me. I grabbed his pacifier and popped it into his mouth, and he made one of those little happy baby noises as he started sucking on it. I started rocking him gently, hoping to get him to go back to sleep.

Kris let out a sigh, and I looked up to find her wearing this soppy expression that I was used to seeing on Maura when she was reading a romance novel on her iPad, pretending it was a scholarly journal.

“Look, Jane, I get that you're scared. For the first time, you've got a relationship that matters to you. That's some scary, wake up in the middle of the night sh- crap, but you got this. Really. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Throw in a few more date-y things, the flowers, the candle light dinners, and cut out some of the complaining when she asks you to do things she likes. Most important of all, tell her how you feel. A lot. It's not the cure for everything, but frequent application of the phrase 'I love you' helps, as long as you mean it.”

I nodded. “I do.”

Kris smiled. “No more training do you require. Already know that which you need.”

I laughed. “Then I am a Jedi.”

Kris shook her head. “No, you're a lesbian. Just remember to put my name on the form when you fill out the paperwork. You and Dr. Isles have got to be worth at least a toaster oven.”

I blinked, wondering what the hell she was talking about. “Huh?”

Kris shook her head. “Sorry. Lesbian pop culture joke. You'll get it eventually.”

“Right,” I said, making a mental note to google 'lesbian toaster oven' when I got home.

“And Rizzoli...”

“Yeah?”

“If you or Dr. Isles need anything, let me know. This crap was scary enough for me at nineteen. I'm not sure whether it's better or worse in your thirties, but it's not something you should go through alone.”

I smiled, touched by the sentiment. “Thank you. Again.”

Kris waved it off. “You take care of family, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you do.”



The Diary of Jane Chapter List
Chapter 01
Chapter 02
Chapter 03
Chapter 04
Chapter 05
Chapter 06
Chapter 07
Chapter 08
Chapter 09
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15

Fanfic Master List

Date: 2012-08-24 05:51 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] afret2010.livejournal.com
OMG! I love this chapter, not only did you properly use the term "reverse polish notation" but you applied it in reference to a Jedi master. You are a Jedi master ;-)

Date: 2012-08-24 06:26 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] argyle-s.livejournal.com
Mmmm... Right you are, young padawan.

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